English Lessons

Maybe it's time I retire this joke:

"You may be American in the kitchen, but European in the bathroom". 

Nobody gets it! When it was told to me by my Greek friend, Paul, I got it right away! I'm sharp like that, but also immature. So, maybe it's just me that gets it.

Paul was probably about the same age as me, but he grew up as a Greek American kid while I grew up as an All-American boy of multi-ethnic background long lost amongst my ancestors. Like most of the Greeks and Slavs I knew, he learned English at school and spoke his parent's tongue at home, translating for them because they were too busy working to make a life for their children to learn English. This is the story of America. Always has been. I think it takes a lot of guts to go to another country and try to make it. It still happens every day. People come from all over the world to be Americans. It isn't easy and they never do it fast enough to please those who think it is easy because they were born here. If you think English is easy, live down south for a while or enter the comments section on a Facebook thread. 

I don't really begrudge first generation Americans clinging to their heritage. It gets a little old after a couple-few generations though. After that, it's as disingenuous as me pretending I'm Irish on St. Patties Day. The Sopranos covered this when a few of the gang went to Italy on business and realized how out of place they were in the old country. Or they didn't realize as they went back home and returned to their, "Eh, fuggeddaboudit- we're Italian!" ways. I don't think it's fighting against being American as much as it is desperately clinging to an identity you don't have but think you should. What would I cling to with my Irish, Scottish, Swedish and Norwegian heritage? Pick one? Like most Americans, I'm a mutt. I'm happy to be one. 

So, the joke. Paul says to me after a set-up about the various ethnicities we had working in the restaurant at time, something like: "You may be American in the kitchen, but European in the bathroom". I thought it was pretty damn funny and spot on. As I type this, a couple of angry European Blueskiers are trying (without me) to 'get it'. They aren't getting it, but they are getting closer- maybe. Getting close enough to still not get it is probably the best I could expect. They seem pissed off, but they don't understand that it's better to be pissed off than pissed on. 

English is a very hard language to learn.

 Well, I've been drinking coffee all morning. I'm an American typing this, but soon I'll be... a peein' in the bathroom... Get it?

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