I Kneel for No Man!

 Saw a video- on Facebook, probably- of an ex-con relating the bathroom etiquette that was evidently in place at whatever prison he called home. This was first laid out to him by his cellmate, for the toilet they shared in their cell. He was told he needed to kneel to pee. 

Do what now??!!

He was a pretty big boy himself, and his cellmate was a tough talking Crip or Blood, but he had to wonder if he was being punked. Everybody has heard the probably not-apocryphal story of Big Bubba telling his weaker cellie that he was his bitch and could only pee sitting down, ala the women. So, this fella was ready to rumble. However, the guy was not messing with him, and it was common practice where they were doing their time. He held it in rather than kneel and left to network with the other neighbors. Turned out to be true. Well, according to this guy being interviewed.

Though you should never read the comments on Facebook, I did, and they were funny and all over the place as per usual. This country ("Land of the Free") incarcerates more people than any other country in the world. The lesser countries have crime, and many have more people, but they are not astute enough to profit from crime like we are. If everyone started behaving tomorrow, already wealthy scumbags would lose billions, until new crimes were invented to refill the prisons. Rest assured, republican think-tankers are working on that, day and night. From the comments I learned that the practice of kneeling to pee (by fellas, of course) is not prison wide at all. The dilemma is that us fellas pee standing up and have for thousands of years, but most of us lack good aim. Women have always known this. Evidently, men are figuring it out too, at least in prison. That stuff goes everywhere in a 6' by 8' prison cell or a bathroom of similar size in a suburban home. So, why kneel? Sitting down would make more sense. The ladies know that too. 

I guess it's because that's what the ladies do. They don't want to be like ladies, so they overthink it and came up with kneeling on a hard floor instead. I don't want to go against my own kind, but that's really fucking dumb! The solution is right there if you sit down and think about it. 

If I kneel for any reason I regret it. Getting back up is a painful trial of a tribulation these days. Though in good shape, I've been at this for many decades and I feel it at times. Getting old is not for sissies. If you are an advocate of kneeling, SIT DOWN! We don't want to hear it.