Shake Your Sillies Out!

 As a Ferrerman of a certain age, I know that I am susceptible to predators and evil doers that prey on others in my age group. Perhaps less than most, but like most people, I'm getting older each day. You do better in the present when you prepare for the future, because the present will always be there. Well, until it's not. 

So, I recognize that I am susceptible to social media, particularly Facebook and YouTube, where algorithms have singled me out because of my age. A little advice from peers about growing older is welcome. I'm still smart enough to see through the bullshit politically, and staying abreast of that helps a lot. 

I saw a YT the other day of a doctor (as far as I know) discussing the 5 things that are predictive of your early demise if you can't do them. I don't remember all 5, so I'll touch on the worst ones. 

According to this doctor, if you can't get out of a chair without using your hands and arms, you're basically fucked. Interesting. I'm sitting in an office chair while I type this, and I can cross my arms and stand up quite easily. OK. But should I? He has 90-year-old patients that can do that! But should they? Now, if I were to walk over to the comfy leather chair where I do most of my TV viewing, I defy any of those 90-year-olds to get up and out of that chair, hands free. I don't think they should try. This isn't the Olympics where you get style points. A comfy leather chair is totally different from any upright chair, with that lower center of gravity and soft cushion. I've had back trouble from time to time in life, thanks to aging and a history of physical labor. That's not what always gets you anyway. Just bend over to pick something off the floor at an odd angle and you may know what I'm talking about. 

And this guy, speaking of floors, said that if you can't get up off the floor without using your arms means you are already a goner. Yeah, motherfucker, if you put it that way! I've got arms and I'm going to use them. At this point in life, I need them, especially getting up off the floor or from my knees. Last year I got a very nice, folding garden bench/kneeler. I used it last Fall to plant tulips but knew it would also come in handy for putting away beer in the bottom of the fridge. And working on the truck. Didn't use it yesterday when I checked all the tires and immediately felt it. I'm OK today, but yeah, it was dumb since I knew what I was getting into. 

This doctor acted like you are cheating yourself if you make use of your arms or (I guess) a device like that, but I feel you are fucking yourself if you don't. BTW, he didn't show any of these master race old people. He just said they were his patients. He also said to walk backwards ten steps every day. I did that. Did it well. It's not very real worldly though- like algebra. Neat trick if you can do it. Another video told me to take care of my prostate by masturbating every other day. Who the HELL are you to tell me to cut back like that??!! 

Some advice has been good. It's common sense. Limber up. Use all the muscles you can. If you go to a ballgame early, you'll see all these in-shape athletes stretching before the game. This is what everybody should do. Duh. While I took care of my mom after her fall, I paid attention to what the physical therapist was telling her and having her do. Mom was in her nineties and wouldn't make that one doctor's All-Star squad, but the idea was to be as mobile as possible. I like these chair and tai chi workouts I'm seeing on FB. They make sense. Had mom not fallen and chipped a bone in her hip, she might have gotten around pretty well without me and her walker. She took care of herself rather well. This was kind of a wakeup call for me to take care of myself better for my own future.

So, walk. Masturbate. Do exercises that make it look like you are shaking your sillies out. Walk backwards if you must. It's all good. Enjoy life. But like our mom's told us, be careful. We're not getting any younger. Might as well make old age easier.