Our Corporate Overlords Must Be Defeated!

 Well, here we go again...

In December, I added a cable TV package to my Xfinity internet, foolishly thinking I would have access to NFL games. (Da Bears are doing well this season, and I wanted them in my home) For $20 a month I would get Fox Sports (typical home for da Bears, or so I thought) and the Chicago Fox station that carries them as well. And CBS and all that other crap. But wait- there's more! As a bonus, they would stream me the Peacock Network (a $12.99 value). This seemed like a pretty good package. 

Of course, it wasn't. I don't know what Fox Sports does, but they don't do NFL games. That turns out to be FOXONE, which costs more money. I could upgrade... And the local Fox station- well, I'm not in Chicagoland anymore, but if I can get it and watch their news, surely, I'd be seeing the Bears on Sundays, right? Right?

Wrong. To be Ferrer, at no time did the folks at Xfinity tell me that I'd be getting Bears games, or any NFL teams. This was all done on the internet. The only thing they lied to me about was the free Peacock and they did couch that with the usual admonition that things are subject to change. OK. I didn't really give a fuck about Peacock network anyways. But not long after they told me it was no longer part of the package- and after I called up and quit- I got an email from Xfinity advising me how to set up Peacock. Well, being the kind of guy who all-too-often finds hisself saying; "Let's see if this works..." I saw if that worked and- VIOLA! - it worked! So, Xfinity had taken it away and then it gave. After I quit. Huh. Mysterious ways, indeed. 

A couple of days after I signed on, I realized how futile this package was, and I somehow found a number to call and quit. Amazingly, I got a real live person (I think) who spoken broken English and was possibly a Hindu gal (I think. It's impolite to ask.) Could they now have chatbots programmed to speak in fractured English for fauxthenticity purposes? That would not surprise me. Whatever her name was, she called me "Sir Peter". I asked her not to do that as it made me sound like British royalty. That is nothing to aspire too. And no one calls me Peter. I go by Pete in real life, or Ferrerman in literary life. It's my nom de plume. I was named after my mom's dad, and though a banker, he was "Pete" too. We are guys named Pete. It's the way it should be.

Even though she continued with "Sir Peter", we got this business done. She stumbled through her script, and I recall asking her if this change would be immediate or at the end of month. It would be immediate. I asked a second time, and it was still immediate. She thanked me for being a loyal Xfinity customer, and I gave her 40 acres of land in Wales and a Ladyship, in gratitude. 

I'm a disloyal Xfinity customer now. I was pretty happy with their internet service, but after their corporate shenanigans with this package, they can fuck off with that too. Again, it's like George Costanza trying to break up with his girlfriend, but her not letting him end it. This is the "ways to be mean" style of corporate America, here in what is now 2026. If you are still using checks, remember to get the year right. No one is using checks though, not even my 20th century ass. I use autopay with my bank. The corporations want you to use autopay. It's convenient for you! But it is also a convenient way for them to fuck you into still paying for their services even after you quit them. Recall that to quit YouTube TV I had to (on the advice of my bank) freeze my debit card and get a new one to stop YTTV from hitting me up for $82.50 each month. The corporate mission in life now is to fucking wear you out so that you give up in frustration and keep being a loyal customer until you die. Essentially, I had to fake my own death to stop their service. It shouldn't have to be that way. 

You might want to blame the victim here. "Ferrerman, why do these things always happen to you? What were you wearing??" Well, a T-shirt and boxer briefs, of course. That's my dress code here, as I live alone and my own comfort is paramount. I have a pair of pants handy in case someone comes over. No one ever does without texting first. That's the way it should be. The reality is that it's not just me. This happens all the time in the Corporate States of America (CSA). We're not talking contracts here. This is now the land of "Quit anytime!" It's just harder to do that in a checkless society when they've got you on autopay and they think they can wear you out into submission. I'd complain to the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau, but that was one of the first victims of Elon Musk's DOGE gang. Maybe you can see why? 

Resistance isn't futile. It's a must. Autopay is a good thing for a guy like me who has a bill-paying memory as long as Trump's dick. I like my bills taken care of automatically. It's very civilized- as long as both sides are civilized and one isn't predatory.