Size Matters

With a good amount of snow already this winter (and we're still in the alleged "fall" portion) I recently broke down and bought a new pair of boots. The old pair was a real struggle to get into and out of. and old they were as they certainly were purchased years ago down south when work boots were a serious requirement on nearly every job. When I returned north, I was still doing commercial work, but nothing remotely big-time that required proper footwear. These boots were only occasionally used for big snows. I gotta tell ya- I'm tough as nails and more often than not I shovel the walk and drive, in my deck shoes or a pair of gym shoes. If you do it right, you are never stepping in deep snow. And, like I said, I'm tough as nails. 

The old pair was a size 8.5. Clearly the new ones would have to be at least a nine. Now, I know what you are thinking; Ferrerman, you need to go and measure yourself in your men's department and see if anything else got bigger! No, not gonna do that. Never have. When the last Mrs. Ferrerman measured me in my men's department, I didn't look. I didn't want to know. I've never taken an IQ test and, if I did, I wouldn't want to know my score. I'd hate to know I had a high score and have to wonder why I fall victim to TV package scams. A lower score might explain that better though. I still wouldn't want to know. I know I'm not dumb enough to be a Trump supporter, so there is that. And in the men's department, well, that's subject to what the individual woman's assessment might be, based on her personal experience. It's all subjective. 

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In the middle of writing this, I saw a clip of JD Vance telling a story about Trump not liking their footwear and ordering some shoes for the guys in this meeting from a catalogue. He's a detail-orientated guy who gets things done, you know. He asked for their shoe sizes. Evidently, Little Marco is an 11.5. JD said he was a 13. And the third guy- whom he did not name but is pretty short- answered that he was a size 7. That elicited laughter from those in attendance. It is assumed he's referring to Mike Johnson. 

To me, this kind of puts to rest the notion of shoe size relating to penis size. I doubt anyone believes JD has a 13-inch dick that he terrorizes couches with, or that Little Marco is in black pornstar territory either. No one cares about Mike Johnson, not even his own party. Point being, I think it follows that foot-size is relative to height rather than one's men's department. That makes more sense. I worked with a young guy who was 6'11". He told me that his shoe size was like 23. He had a shoe contract in high school as, due to his height and athleticism, he was being scouted for the NBA. The shoe contract was a blessing as he was just a poor white boy and because you just can't walk into Footlocker or Sears and pick out a pair of size 23 anything, and bigger is more expensive. Unfortunately, he tore up his knee in college, and the free shoes were over, as was his career. 

So, what's the point of all this? Just me making dick jokes, I guess. And JD Vance being a dick about dick jokes. And perhaps the very basic fact that if you are carrying around a 6'11" body in life, nature (or a God if you need to believe in things like that) is smart enough to give you the proper foundation for that. It makes sense, right? As for your men's department, who knows? There doesn't seem to be method to that madness, but if the shoe fits, wear it. What else are you going to do?