Little Ditty 'bout Sam & Diane

Maybe I wasn't meant to watch football. 

Some dedicated non-readers might recollect that when I decided to stop paying $82.50 a month to watch TV on YouTube TV, they made it harder than a divorce on me. They made it very hard for me to leave the month-to-month pre-nup agreement we had. They refused to quit me- loving that monthly stipend too much. I had agreed to put them on autopay with my bank and since I had initiated that, I couldn't undo that. Well, OK. My banks solution was to cancel that debit card and give me a new one, one that YTTV couldn't use to buy drugs or hookers with. This worked! FULL DISCLOSURE: I do not know that drugs and hookers is what they spent my money on, but I do not not know that either. So, flip a coin. 

Anyways, I went a couple of months without paying to watch TV and was doing pretty well at that with free stuff like Pluto and Tubi. They came with the Vizio TV I have will likely remain free until someone buys them out and makes them a monetized app like everything else in this world. A lot of commercials, but titties- yes!! Bad words- Fucking A!! But football? That's a no. Therin lies the rub. The Chicago Bears got good this year, and I got caught up in the FOMO of that. So, already having Xfinity as my internet, I got online and looked to see what they offered to satiate my football needs. For $20 a month I could get Fox Sports as well as FOX 32 in Chicago. I'm not really a crazed neanderthal, but this started getting my dick hard. I was going to see da Bears again! Could it really be that cheap and easy? 

Not so fast, Ferrerman! Fox Sports turned out to be "not available". They do say, "subject to change without notice". It was the same with the bonus premium of "Peacock". I gather that's an NBC premium channel with movies and stuff. They can't update their website, but they can update you after you sign on that you're not getting what you thought you were getting. I didn't realize I was completely cockblocked until I discovered that I couldn't download the Fox Sorts app until I upgraded. 

They used to call that "bait & switch", but in these trumpian times of late-stage capitalism, it's just called "business". I don't think you can watch football without paying someone for the privilege. There seem to be a lot of options, but none of them are free, over-the-air like the good old days I long for. And sometimes, there's a buy-in to buy more. I was flipping through the junk channels they gave me. "Oh look- "Cheers"! Yeah, but you have to pay $2.99 PER EPISODE to watch Sam, Diane and Woody. Same with M*A*S*H. Both were free in the 80's, which according to my math was @ 40 years ago. I guess they aged well. 

So, to cancel this waste of money, I had to get online to submit a request for Xfinity to call me. Yeah. Really. OK. I chose the first available option, Tuesday afternoon between 2:00 and 2:30. Someone is going to try to charm me into upgrading. I do not want to be charmed. I do not want to upgrade. My goal is to pay as little as possible for TV- like it was in the 80's. I am a very bad consumer in that respect, in this point in the downfall of America, which will be televised...if you've got the app. 

Oh- the Bears lost to the Packers anyway. That's what I hear.