The Girl with the Glasses

Let's get our minds off of current events here and talk about titty bars. Did you know that I was 50 years old before I spent time in a strip club? It's true. Now, I love naked women and nearly naked women a whole lot, and I have seen more than my share in an in-person and sometimes even a professional capacity. The idea of sitting in a bar, spending a lot of money, watching a gal dance topless, while I contemplate paying big bucks for a lap dance or bigger bucks for time in a back room, just never appealed to me or my wallet. So, prior to my first trip there had been bachelor parties, many of which I was only invited to because Ali, our bar manager, would call downstairs and ask me to bring up a bottle of J&B scotch when the party's stripper was coming on. That was the aforementioned "professional capacity". I don't think the other bartender's downstairs ever caught on or wondered why it took 20-30 minutes to deliver a bottle of scotch up one flight. 

I bring this up because I watched a documentary about a small-town strip club. It was interesting, but not as I had expected. Its emphasis was more on the family that ran the club, their health problems and strained interactions with each other. It's an odd family business to have so, that was interesting in itself. I was curious about the small-town aspect of it (as per the title) and stories of the dancers and the clientele. The filmmaker (who was one of the two sons) did not deliver on this. His prerogative, I guess.

My titty bar experience was actual small-town. My crew was working out of town (from Memphis) in Dothan, Alabama. The crew before us had discovered the place and gave us directions. It was like a 20-minute drive from Dothan so, small-town if there even was town in the area. I volunteered to be the designated driver as our boss had tasked me with that, plus keeping the boys out of trouble. That worked for the first visit. I sat at the bar drinking N/A beer and just enjoying the boobs. It was nice. The girls were cute with nice, real woman's bodies. They are not whores. They are just making a living. From where I sat, there was an opening in the back of the bar where I could see into the party room. It was probably a bachelor party going on. What caught my eye was a super cute blonde talking with a guy her age. They clearly knew each. Likely had grown up and went to school together. I don't know that, but I thought how cool that would be if a boy and girl who had known each other fully clothed for years, were now having a casual conversation while she was wearing nothing but a thong. That was the sort of small-town strip club story I was expecting from the doc. I have to do everything myself, including giving people backstories! I should have brought a camera in and filmed my own doc, but I guess that would have been frowned upon. Nice as they were at the club, they probably would have kicked me out for that. 

It was very civilized. The previous crew had fallen in love with the girl with the glasses. I could see why. I forget her name, but she was every bit the girl next door and the glasses really brought it home. (It's funny, you grow up around girls who view their having to wear glasses as a curse. "Men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses". It's not true. They have, as my young neighbor Jeremy coined the word, "spectuality", Pretty sure he did invent the term, in reference to his girlfriend, whose name I have also forgotten. Maybe it's the glasses. Maybe they just beguile me and make me forget names) 

I imagine that the clientele and the talent were all pretty much local whether they had history or not, who knows. There are several big clubs in Memphis that I gather have the silicone enhanced, coke-centric dancers. Different world there. Every third painter in Memphis seemed to have a story about how the stripper really loved him. Sure, she did. Until the money and drugs ran out. One of our Mexicans had managed to blow $600 at a popular club in one night, without even getting a handy, and was stupid enough to tell us about it. If women think they don't understand men, I don't either. I have to know and marry a woman before she gets all my money. I'm old-fashioned that way. 

At the one we went to on that trip, a couple of the guys on the crew got lap dances. I remember Jorge (George) from Nicaragua got one right there in front of the bar. I was as embarrassed for him as I was for her as it all seemed so unnecessary to me in front of friends and strangers like that. But then, I was sober. He was a good guy. I don't judge. He was from waaaay out of town and probably missed his wife. She would never know. These women were just making a living. The customers were just hanging out in a bar, enjoying the scenery. Just another night in a small town.