Porn Again

Watched another interview with a pornstar. I didn't seek it out- it showed up on my YouTube feed. I'm serious mom! I accidentally saw one and they sent me more. I don't like that stuff! I'll call them tomorrow and make them stop! No, YOU don't have to- I'll take care of it. I promise!

So, this one was about a guy named Joshua who made over a thousand films. I had never heard of him, but that many films is a lot of bonafides. A lot of boners too. There was some vagary about his name, so I haven't looked him up yet. It might be his real name and not his porn name, so it would be hard to look him up. They didn't even discuss his dick, which struck me as odd, but after seeing a million interviews with ball players, I don't recall any of them being asked, "How big a bat ya swinging there, Clete?" I guess it's one of those, "if ya know, ya know" things. 

How he got into porn was typical of the story you often hear about actresses. You are young and good-looking and go out to Hollywood to get into TV or movies, find out how hard it is, and wind up doing porn to pay the bills, and keep the dream alive. It's still a career killer to do porn. This fella had signed with some agency soon after arriving in LA. They dropped him after his first porn once they found out. Dream over. 

Interesting thing, he was a good-looking guy. Easy sex was already coming his way in West Hollywood, and he had no problem loving and leaving. He seemed to prefer it that way and that sounds like a perfect recipe for a porn career. "Nothing personal, just business"

His backstory was not a good one. Mom gave birth to him at 16 and struggled to raise him by herself. His father was in the area but not at all involved in his life. The home was broken before he even got there. It was very sad to hear him talking about no father around to teach him guy stuff. Tools. Baseball. Girls. Boys need that. Apparently, no parade of mom's boyfriends either and he didn't mention any molestation. That's good news. Girls liked him in high school and all that. A lot of kids today raise themselves in one way or another, for one reason or another due to broken homes and maybe indifferent parents. My dad worked a lot and there were 7 of us. I don't recall him doing much with me beyond yelling at me. He didn't seem to know anything except that and building roads, bridges and tunnels. My mom taught me to play baseball. I thank her for that. 

This guy didn't seem happy to me. Now, I don't want to get into another fight about a porn star's happiness, with rival blogger, Maggie, but she might agree with me on this one. After 6 years of an unhappy but successful career in porn, the guy wanted to call it quits. Like, end his life quits. He felt as alone as ever. He had lost touch with his mom who was not at all happy about his career choice. He just sort of drifted away from the phone with her. She was on the opposite coast. Still mom, but he didn't want to hear any truths from her. 

He decided to quit porn after his thousandth scene. He had no idea what he was going to do, but he was done with that. He was contemplating suicide. Like many people he didn't really want to do that though, and taking things one day at a time, he made the call to mom. If you don't want to backslide into the easy money of porn, it's best to get away from the accessibility of it. This guy was still young, hung and had been making like $20,000 a month. It would be very easy to go back to that.

Back home he found honest work, but at a fraction of what he had grown used to making. He did find love with a woman, a very attractive, fit woman, but not the sort of love he was expecting. 

She turned him on to Jesus. After a minute of that and Bible quotes, I turned off the computer and went to bed. I have heard that story. More power to anyone who ends a drug/alcohol habit or a career in crime by finding Jesus. It beats the alternative of dying in prison or with a needle in your arm. I get that. I really try to get that. Everybody has a different rock bottom. Just try not to get there before you have to turn your life over to an imaginary deity in the sky. It's but an illusion of control. But yeah, I'm glad it worked for him.