Rat Tales

 One morning, I got a call from 162 IQ Lou to report for duty at a now-defunct mall in downtown Memphis. We were told to get with Shakey, a rising young star in the Ratmo LLC universe in the smaller universe that is this world. It's arguable amongst some that the Ratmo universe is more important than the galaxy one, but those that make the case for the former are generally considered to be 'dumbass rat bastards' in my own, private universe. Shakey was a rat bastard. 

So was Greg Aluminum, a black fella who had recently been promoted to a supervisory position over the framer-hangers, solely because he was a black guy and the shop feared a lawsuit from Wayne Fishman, who I mentioned a few posts back as a litigious dreamer. I got to give the shop credit for picking Greg solely on the fact that he was a black guy who wasn't Wayne. Greg was an idiot, but he easily met that criteria. 

Now, I say Greg was an idiot, but that's because I don't like the rat bastard. I admit that. He wasn't very smart and was unqualified to lead the crew of grizzled, veteran wood butchers that were our carpenters. True story: One of the wood butchers asked Greg Aluminum to pick up a box of wood screws for them. Greg got that confused dog look to his head and said, "Wood screws? Screws that are made of wood?" How do you lead when you never knew enough to follow? 

From his perch on the balcony above the atrium of the mall, Mr. Aluminum saw Stever and I wandering around in our search for Shakey. 162 IQ Lou had told me it'd be easier to find Shakey than the shop, because Shakey probably wouldn't be in the shop anyways. That made sense! Lou didn't usually make sense. I was happy to be there for that. 

So, Aluminum sees us wandering around and calls the shop to report us. Like I said, a rat bastard. Mr. Aluminum's Neighborhood was not a good place to "look for the helpers". He could have asked us if we needed assistance. 

I don't think it was written down anywhere, but it seemed at Ratmo it was unspoken that you were to inform on others if you wanted to stay in good standing or possibly advance in the company. Some guys picked up on that, but for most it was inherent rat-fvcking skills, honed by abusive childhoods, I suspect.

In time, we found Shakey or Shakey found us, and we got interrogated by him. Later, we would be interrogated by 162 IQ Lou about our wandering, though he had instructed us to do just that. We were feathers in a couple of caps that day. I don't recall what we did workwise that day, but I'm sure it wasn't worth the bother to Stever and I, but it was a full day's accomplishment for Ratmo Construction.