Hats Off to Ferrerman

 Last night was rough on this 21st century Ferrerman. First the power went out right at the beginning of the Cubs game. That meant no a/c, no TV and no lights. No Xbox either. And because I have an electric stove, no early dinner. It had rained that morning (and not that bad) so, I ferrermansplained to myself (and later the Gilmore Girl daughter) that they were probably just fixing something that happened earlier and simply needed to shut us down to safely work on the powerlines. I got no problem with the utility guys living to see another day. In fact, I love the Glen Campbell version of "Wichita Lineman" and I probably started humming it. Not sure, but after all these years, I know me. So, I ventured outside into the pretty decent early evening where I saw said GG going across the street to purchase a bag of ice. They had just gone to the grocery store, and she feared losing all their goods. Well, I know your food is safe in the freezer for a good 24 hours in these situations, but it's hard to tell the GG's things like that. They are still convinced they have bedbugs. They might. I don't know. I was only an Orkin man for a week and that was 30 years ago.

The power came back on after 70 minutes. I got to see the much maligned (by me) Alex Bregman hit three homeruns. He was an expensive free agent pick up this year who had a shitty first half. I learned recently that he typically heats up after the ALL-STAR break, and evidently this is true. So, with his power and my power both working, things were looking up. Then the Wi-fi went out for a bit, came back and then went out for a bit longer. No explanation. Dammit. I stream everything, so I was fucked again, but this time with lights. 

I decided to peruse family photos on the laptop. Having lost our brother, Pat, this past June, this was bittersweet. The pics were mostly of all the family events over the years, but the ones of Pat and our late sister, Kate, really hit home. You never think when you are posing for good time photos with siblings that you will one day look at those pics and miss them. 

There were pictures of me too. I've changed a bit over the decades. Came to grips with that long ago. You get the hair gene from your mother's side (generally) but Pat somehow got our dad's hair; darker and only missing in action on the easily camouflaged dome. Paul and I didn't, but we still love mom. We understand the rules.

What stood out to me though, was that I don't think in any photo I was wearing a hat. A couple maybe, but only when we were in our Cub's gear, off to a Cubs game. I don't like wearing hats. Never really did. When I was a kid, you basically only wore hats when playing baseball. They are called "baseball hats" for a reason ya know. Tending bar in my 20's we gnashed our teeth over the young guys who came in the bar wearing hats who invariably ordered Miller Lite beers. Were they cosplaying jocks, inspired by the clever beer commercials? Probably. Maybe a little early onset male pattern baldness? That too, I reckon. I wouldn't have worn a hat behind the bar if they made me! (They didn't, of course, but I wanted to show my commitment to the cause.) It just struck me as an odd sartorial choice, indoors, under a roof. When I got into commercial painting, I kept a hat nearby for when I was working overhead and in danger of getting paint in my hair. There are practical reasons for hats; the sun and rain come to mind. You want the bartender to know you are a douchebag and predictable in your drink order. You are the worst president in the history of the United States, with the worst hair in presidential history, and you want the world to know you are a douchebag who wears baseball caps with a suit and tie!!?? That should have been our first clue about him. 

Well, I'm going back to my roots- or lack thereof- and leaving the hat off, save for bad weather involving sun or rain. Snow too. That happens here. I never felt like I was hiding my baldness, because eventually that hat comes off, and the cute girl sees your truth. So, why not cut to the chase? Maybe I was subconsciously covering my *shame*? I don't know. I'll allow for that, at least a little. But I just don't like wearing hats.