What the HELL Do Women Want Anyway??

 Kinda piggybacking on my recent "The Deciders" piece here, of several posts ago. I still look at the show, because it's there, and I find it oddly relevant to normal, non-naked dating. You see, people are being honest on this show about what they want in a love interest. That's good. Honesty is good to a fault. It doesn't make you right, except in the context of you being you. Where people go wrong is when they try to speak for their own gender, race, political party or etc. and etc. That is disingenuous and only occasionally on the mark.  

Back in the 90's/00's there was a pretty popular men's magazine called "Maxim". There was also a sister publication- "Stuff". Neither were nudie mags like Playboy or Penthouse (which were pretty much on their way out thanks to the growing internet) but instead were pics of beautiful, scantily clad models and stuff about cars and girls that were of interest to somewhat sophisticated young, straight males. Playboy and Penthouse went that way too before they went belly-up later in the decade. As my old buddy, Bouska, would often say about almost anything, "Not jerkable". Just kind of a McNews publication of girls, cars and guy stuff. 

Each month in the magazine, there was a section where 50 alleged real women would answer a question about dating or boys and girls in general. There would be a probably stock photo of each girl and a brief telling of what she liked or expected from a man, or- often- what her entire gender thought of or expected from men. This is where the rubber meets the road in today's post. 

The text was probably written by a junior staffer who was told to "mix it up" for more realistic content, because the opinions were all over the place. One girl would say, "Just be yourself and take me out for a burger and conversation" and the equally beautiful one next to her would say, "You better spend your whole paycheck on me, and it better be a BIG check, or you'll never see me again!" Shit like that. Again- all over the place. 

Thing is, no one- and by that, I mean no one, is qualified to speak for everyone. Well, except for me saying that, that is. You don't like it- get your own damn blog! If you want to know what all women think you are very ambitious in your stupidity and on a fool's errand that will not end well. However, if you want to know what a particular women desires, just fucking ask her. That's kind of simple, eh? Yeah. I'm a Ferrerman. I know stuff.

Now, you may get the beginnings of a treatise on what every woman on the planet wants in life, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater just yet. Reiterate that you want to know about her and what she wants. That's really more important to her than it is to you. You see she (let's call her Jane Smucatelli) as a human being, is very tribal. Everybody wants to be heard, especially Jane. All of humanity is tribal. Many people are members of many tribes when you factor in race, religion and politics and etc. and etc. <--- Did I already say that? I think I did. Well, it bears repeating. We are all individuals in tribes- unless it's a cult like maga. Those dumb motherfuckers all do *think* alike and have surrendered their individuality to the dumbest motherfucker to ever stalk the earth. Story for another day! Suffice to say though, Jane is an attractive, viable woman with an active and productive mind. She wants to be heard. She wants to hear you too. You can't have one without the other. If you can't listen, it makes it harder for her to hear you. 

We are all on the internet in one way or another, and algorithms being what they are, tribalism has been reinforced on us. We primarily receive information based on what a computer somewhere has determined that we want to hear. Personally. I think we are being set up for control, but that may just be me and is also a story for another day. For now, though, too much of the same information- day in and day out- is simply too much. You can have too much of anything and you likely realize that's not good. I'm not both-sidsing anything here. That's media crap. I've heard enough of maga (here we go again...) to know that everything they say is garbage. I assume when I write that I'm speaking to a few good people. A very few good people at that, but good, nonetheless. All I'm saying is listen to each other instead of the tribe and be as true to yourself as you should be to them. And decompress whenever you begin to feel overwhelmed or cornered by life. I write and I watch naked people dating. Well, mostly I watch movies that I already know I like or that I missed when they came out and might like. You don't know until you try. Most of life really is just showing up and then seeing what happens once you get there. To paraphrase Bousca: "Life's pretty jerkable". Enjoy! It's the only one we get as far as we know. Don't spend it all tribally. They don't want you to be yourself.